Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
