She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize