i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
do herpes really smell.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
