Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
