remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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