Midget sex pt 2 tonight
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Randomize
