the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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