Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
