He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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