I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
