There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Randomize
