I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
