too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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