I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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