I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
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