My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
