she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Randomize
