You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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