help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We were destined to go to rehab together
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
