singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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