i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize