As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
