This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
