just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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