Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
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