OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize