Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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