im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
