he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
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