Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Randomize
