Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
