Im at strip club and am horny
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Randomize