The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Randomize
