rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
