The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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