I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
she peed on how many people?
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
