Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
