I need help removing her.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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