But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
