I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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