How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
