Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Randomize
