You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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