Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
