how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize