Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
