All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Drunk is a universal language darling
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