Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
