I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
