I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
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