I murdered the dance floor call the cops
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
