The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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