Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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