Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Randomize
