I'm really into asian looking animals
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize