): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
