he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
