how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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