I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
