we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
